Many of us come across people in our daily life who are critical. They come in varied relationships, and may be those whom we communicate with sometimes, or, on a daily basis. They could be our parents, partner, boss, colleagues or teachers. I call them ‘The Faultfinders.’ Though perhaps they sound like superheroes, they are far from superhero-like.
Unlike the characters who can save a person, or a community, the faultfinders have the effect of damaging the self-worth and confidence of their target, which results in demoralization and reduction in self-esteem, and can make the people around them, bitter and angry. Being in the company of such people is very exhausting. If given a choice, one may choose to not be around faultfinders – even if they are our very own colleagues or parent.
I have closely observed many of them and considered the reasons for their behavior.
These could be one, or all, of the following:
Faultfinders lack self-awareness and hence find it easy to see fault in others, and not themselves. Also, failure to resolve their own issues makes it easy to find fault in others, and trying to fix them by their own terms, and taking-up other’s battles, allows them to take away focus from their own issues. However, even challenging them is not going to be helpful, because of their lack of self-awareness. Your lack of response will only be assumed as your acceptance, which will result in more criticism, with the faultfinder thinking that they are being helpful.
The information and views expressed in the blog are individual and inspired from writer’s experience and study in Mental Health & Hypnotherapy.